


You'll Never Be Alone (I'll Be With You)

by deliriouslyshipping



Series: T'Cherik Drabbles [13]
Category: Black Panther (2018)
Genre: Can you imagine living forever?, I made this in 2 hours, M/M, Soulmate AU, anyway enjoy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-13
Updated: 2018-06-13
Packaged: 2019-05-21 19:01:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,502
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14921100
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/deliriouslyshipping/pseuds/deliriouslyshipping
Summary: In all the lives he had lived, there had been one that forever stood out to him.





	You'll Never Be Alone (I'll Be With You)

**Author's Note:**

> I freaking love soulmate AUs so enjoy.

In all the lives he had lived, there had been one that forever stood out to him. The rest had become fuzzy, distant memories after countless years of living. In one, he was a fighter, and in another, Pharaoh's beloved friend, and so and so forth. It had become easy to view life as something that continued to occur no matter what he did. He kills, he comes back, he dies in a wreck, he comes back; it is such a continuous process of life and death, but a process that is never consistent.

 

One thing always stayed the same, however. It wasn't his schedule in the morning or the way he appeared with each reincarnation, but _him_ (Now - a man as a lifelong, eternal partner was never accepted since the beginning of time in which he has lived - the sun sets another day). The only thing that has yet to change is that his soulmate is a man. What reason that is, he will never know.

 

His name is T'Challa, son of T'Chaka. The upcoming Black Panther. Prince of Wakanda. He has a sister, Shuri, and a home, Wakanda, that has been blessed heavily by the gods - his power deriving from the goddess Bast. This is his life. This life, at least. 

 

In some point in time, he will meet _him_ again. T'Challa cannot assume his name or his ethnicity or anything about him because every time, just like him, the man is different in all aspects of who he is. Nonetheless, T'Challa cannot resist the burn, the ultimate itch, the uttermost love he has for a person who is never the same. All he knows is that every time he finds him, all the approximate hundreds of lives that he has lived comes back like a tidal wave and all he knows is _him_.

 

All blurred images but it's not like the images help until they become crystal clear (and sometimes they are not clear at all). The ability to remember the lost lives are near impossible, but there are times when T'Challa hits home. Sometimes, in his sleep, he can remember names. T'Challa, in an attempt to save or even revive the memories, writes them down once they brush across his mind until they are gone again. Michael. Jonathan. Noah. Asher. These names weren't T'Challa's.

 

The throne awaits him. T'Chaka is dead.

 

Now T'Challa knows death. Has met death. Has seeked death. Death is his best  friend and his worst enemy. He has died many times, watched people die many times, and, in some cases, killed many times. He has yet to decide how this life will affect his death record. Yet, no matter how familiar it is, it does not stop the unbearable pain of its acidic kiss. It does not stop the tears from running down his face, the blood on his suit to become any cleaner, or the anger from soaking in afterwards. He needed relief. 

 

Nakia was beauty in its finest. Strong woman, the kind that could do so much in her power, but in the end was not his to have. T'Challa knows he should wait for him, not even try to fall for another, but he cannot help trying. There have been so few people chosen to live this kind of destiny, to live and die eternally. It had always been simple for them to find their love and spend the rest of their life with them. As a gut feeling, T'Challa feels this might not be that easy. He feels .. challenge.

For once, he is not ready for him, because, for once, he swore that he'd never come.

 

\- 

 

The throne, by far, is probably one of the best lives that he has lived. It is not easy, not by a long shot, but he loves it. T'Challa thrives in the heart of his people, the power of the heart shaped herb running in his veins. T'Challa, in this aspect, was meant solely to be a king. A King with a heart of vengeance for his father. 

 

Klaue. Murderer to his father. Salesman to stolen vibranium. His target. His vengeance. 

 

T'Challa did not have to, but for the sake of relations, did not kill the man in front of an entire crowd of people. He could have, easily, but it was Nakia - the voice of reason in his whirlwind of seeing red - that had grounded him to the main principle: Murder is not what a Black Panther does. Not in cold blood, at least. Because of his decision, Klaue got away with the help of some henchmen. The chase was surprisingly short, halted immediately by a masked man, but caught the ring hanging from a necklace. His ring. His father's ring. Whoever this man is, he has involvement in Wakanda. Then it hits him as the van screeches away. A memory.

 

_ James breathes out his grunt as the rag runs across the wounds along his back. Master had been particularly rough today, but it was well earned. "Master" will never be his master, no matter how much pain he can inflict. The water by the bucket turns pink with the amount of blood lost. It is another day.  _

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_ "Will you ever learn to stop fighting them?" John asks from behind him, hands grazing the previous scars from former attacks. James runs the rag over the slashes on his back again and James bites his lip from making too much noise. If they were caught, even in this fashion, they would surely be dead. It is not like it matters anyway, they will meet again in the next one.  _

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_ "I'll stop fighting them when the white people stop killing us so they can sit and drink tea and make money. Ain't right." John kisses at his bare shoulder, careful, and smiles against the soft of the skin.  _

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_ "In every life, you find purpose," John says as his rough hands run up and down his arms. "In every life, you find me. And in every life, I have never stopped loving you." James turns himself around in the chair, wincing for he forgot he was even whipped today. Their fingers interlace in the old barn scented with metallic blood and anything farm-like. This was their haven, their centre. In all of this, they had each other.  _

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_ "You'll find me eventually," James says as he leans in. He cups John's face firmly and connects them at the forehead. He breathes in his love. "And I will never, no matter what you and I do in the future, ever, stop loving you. I promise you that." They share a strong kiss, something so practiced and perfect. They are perfect for each other.  _

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_ The barn door opens and James hears a gasp from the entrance- _

 

"It's in his spine." As Agent Ross begins to die on the floor, a Kimoyo bead lodged into the wound, Nakia looks at him pleadingly.

 

In the amount of compassion, pain, and overall confusion that he feels, he makes a decision. 

-

Pressure.  Now the throne is not as it was, a changing figure against the customs of Wakanda. His name is N'Jadaka. His alias is Erik Stevens, former MIT graduate and a soldier, and a man seeking revenge against all of Wakanda. In T'Challa's head, all he can think is this time you did find me, and it is not beneficial at all with the way that they - a man not willing to kill his soulmate and one who will kill just for the revenge of it - are meant to be. Could there be any worse combination?

He is coming; T'Challa cannot prohibit or even stop it. W'Kabi, his supposed friend, will bring him in. He has seen men like W'Kabi many times; he is a man willing to betray everything for what he thinks is right. T'Challa cannot even blame W'Kabi at all for what will happen. 

When Erik, N'Jadaka, walks in, T'Challa can feel his heartbeat increase. Not out of fear or anger, but out of love. He could never stop loving Erik. Erik stares at him dead in the eye. He knows. Relief floods the King with the knowledge that he is not alone in this experience.  How rough of a situation this will be. T'Challa has a role to play, they both do. He walks right up to him. Breathes Erik in because Erik is his and vise versa. 

"Ask me who I am." But if he asked, there would be so many answers, countless stories that cannot be fathomed by anyone, no matter the amount of intelligence. T'Challa turns and raises his hand. 

"Take him away," and he hears N'Jadaka answer in the struggle that he tries to block out. T'Challa thought this would be the end of this conversation.

"I am N'Jadaka, son of N'Jobu!" Isn't this unexpected. "I found my daddy with panther claws in his chest. You ain't the son of a King, you're the son of a **murderer**!" 

_ "Have you ever been a.. murderer?" Asher asks with a cheeky grin. Benjamin rolls his eyes as they look at the stars in the sky. Their stars were there, somewhere, paired together forever as they lived forever here.  As long as the stars live, as do they. Others exist, extremely distant stars because special people like them are not meant to meet. But they have.  _

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_ "Have you?" Ben chooses to answer instead. If he wanted to be honest, he has killed. He has killed multiple times, most of them justified. He has killed for his love in past lives, killed to save his own life, and killed just to kill. Life has not ceased to give him a new experience. _

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_ "So you have. Deflecting the question gave me my answer," Asher shrugs on the blanket, "but I haven't. I feel like one day I'm just gonna be a mass murderer and you're going to have to like save me from myself or something." It was easy to talk like this, to talk about things normal humans would squirm at and avoid. It is unfortunate that Asher is not allowed to remember in this life, but it worked out in the end because Asher is a weed-obsessed, open minded guy.  _

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_ "You and your dumb psychology major." Ben smiles and sits up to look at Asher, who smiles all dopey.  _

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_ "I didn't want to go. Parents forced me because I wouldn't join the military. It's all about the peace, man." The 60s through the 80s is one of the most interesting time periods that Ben has ever lived. Expressionism and black movements and war and peace and everything in between. Asher was a peace activist, white, who enjoyed smoking and asking questions that  don 't even make sense. He was open minded to everything, accepting when Benjamin had to explain that they are thousands of years old, living _

_ on and on with the purpose of finding each other.  _

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_ "Whatever you say. And of course I would try to save you if you killed a lot of people. We save each other, that's our purpose right?" Asher hums from beside of him and reaches his hand out. Ben passes the joint to him and Asher inhales a good portion.  _

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_ "I don't think so," Asher says as he exhales the smoke.  _

"Put your weapons down. We can handle this another way." T'Challa tries to mask the plea in his voice. He cannot kill N'Jadaka, he refuses to. T'Challa will never kill his soulmate, his star, his everything. Erik grins wickedly, circling him. 

"Aren't you tired of doing this? We're so old, I don't remember one life from the next. And I'm supposed to love you no matter what?" Erik scoffs, voice low so no one can hear. "Your father killed mine and I will get my revenge, even if it means going through you." T'Challa realizes that the chances of him making it out of this fight are low. He cannot go against the amount of kills Erik has performed or the blood lust in his veins. This will have to be one of those lives where things don't work out. In the end, T'Challa knew from the second he knew it is was N'Jadaka, he could not stop loving him if he tried.

"No," T'Challa says with his head held down, "I am meant to love you no matter what. I promised you that." Erik falters in his  attack and he knows that it has affected him. Erik knows that life, probably  had the ability to remember every life, and T'Challa just wants to stop this. 

"Remember when you said you were going to save me?" Erik asks, eyes relaxed and shining. T'Challa nods and falls for the look upon his lover's face. There is something in his expression that gives away that they could never stop this destiny of them. No matter who and what they are, they are meant for each other. Somewhere in N'Jadaka, deep rooted, he loves T'Challa just as much as T'Challa loves him. T'Challa is a fool for N'Jadaka, no matter the life, and will give anything for him. In this small  line separating a good chance for them and the impossibility, Erik  finally crosses the border into  a decision .

"Can you make an exception this one time?" And thrusts the spear into his abdomen-

_ "Can you make an exception this one time?" Henry asks as he helps him board the last of the food onto the boat.  _

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_ "You know that I have to sail for us to get money." _

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_ "It is too dangerous on that side of the ocean, Christopher." The portside smells of salt water and gulls. Another day to do  one of the only jobs that profits in this country.  _

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_ "Are you going to be a predictor of weather in your future, Henry?" Henry scowls in response, saying a slang term that is not that nice. Christopher looks around to make sure that no one is looking before placing a hand on his shoulder blade, leaning in as close as commonly accepted.  _

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_ "I will come back, I promise." He wants to kiss Henry, to assure him more than that, but they both know that he will come back; Both of them will: that is the beauty of their curse. Henry nods and backs away from the boat slowly. "I love you," he mouths because they cannot say it aloud.  _

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_ Christopher smiles as he boards with the other men, tapping at the center of his chest twice. I love you too. Henry watches him until the ship cannot be seen anymore, hidden in the midst of the fog of the early morning. _

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_ Christopher does not come back- _

Erik lifts him in ease and T'Challa can partially hear the scared cry of his family. As much as he loves them, nothing matters more than Erik. N'Jadaka moves toward the edge of the falls. T'Challa feels no pain, feels nothing but the hollow of  his own breathing. 

"I will come back, I promise," T'Challa manages to rasp out directly before he is thrown over the cliff. In a split second, he can see the wide eyed expression Erik gives him as he plummets. Despite everything, all he can think about is how much he loves him and how interesting the next life will be with the added conversation of Erik killing him. He closes his eyes, under the curse that is that the man who just killed him is his center for peace, happiness, no matter what. He does not feel the water.

 

-

The train passing by is just a way to get ahead of the fight. It rips at their suits in various places, leaving open room for attack. On opposite sides of the train, they pace with intended eye contact. T'Challa's will to finish this fight is diminishing with each passing second. 

"You know I will not kill you, N'Jadaka." 

"I know. That's the fun of it. I can kill your sister, your country, you, and you won't do it because you think you love me. Or all of the me's." Erik grimaces and T'Challa almost hates this life now. He hates that Erik is so willing to kill him and everything he loves just to win at this life. Erik will die within 5 years of his death, no matter what. That is the rules. What happens now does not matter after one of them die, but it appears N'Jadaka does not care for that. Care for what is destined of them.

"I do not think I do. I know I do and you do too. You know that in the next life, we will meet and fall in love again, and the next, and the-" 

"Alright shut up. You don't know what I've been through, the people I've killed, the-" 

"But you know what? I know that we both were lynched together. I know you waited every day at the port until I came back in a letter. I know that I had to watch you overdose on drugs. I know that we have lived so much and died so much. We've been through so much, Erik." T'Challa sighs, heavy. "Even if you kill me now, you'll die within five years, and we find each other again. You can fight it all you want, but this is our destiny!" 

"Fuck our destiny!" Erik shouts. "For once in my life, I want to choose my path. I don't want to have to feel anything for you just because it is what I am supposed to do. I'm so fucking tired of not having the choice. Maybe I want to love someone else. Maybe I want to die. Maybe I want to be able to choose." It throws T'Challa in a loop, how raw in emotion Erik's words were. In a way, he was right; it would be nice to have  a choice . The problem with that is that T'Challa would choose him anyway, even if Erik wouldn't.

T'Challa makes another decision. The train passes and T'Challa kneels. He bows his head and kicks away his blade.

"If you do not love me, then finish me off, and in the next life, you can choose and I will never bother you again." He hears N'Jadaka's footsteps draw  closer and his heart hurts with the promise in his words. T'Challa will know who he is, even if Erik doesn't and even if he does, he will remember this promise for eternity. Erik hesitates to speak. 

"T'Challa.." 

"I give you my word. If you don't love me, kill me, and I will never allow you to fall in love with me again." T'Challa does not look up, keeps his head down. A tear falls as he feels the cold blade touch his neck. Every single time that he has ever said _I love you_ plays along his mind as one whole memory, every reaction he received in return. T'Challa will come across a life where he does not remember any or may have a life when he remembers every one. The damned man clenches his fist tighter as  Erik yells and raises the blade.

Then silence. 

T'Challa raises his head just as Erik throws the blade behind him. N'Jadaka lifts him up and doesn't give him time to even think before they're kissing. The train comes again, but it is unnoticed. It is unfiltered, pure passion in their kiss. Perfect as always, rougher than usual, and T'Challa does not even realize that Erik is crying until they pull away for air. Erik keeps a strong grip on the nape of his neck, keeping him close, breaths harsh.

"You know damn well I could never stop loving you. I don't choose destiny, I chose you." T'Challa's eyes blur with teared happiness as he surges forward to connect their lips once more. 

 

There is no way to tell how this situation will go. Erik's small rebellion caused more trouble in this life than either of them were prepared to face, and now they must face Wakanda with their relationship. It may not now be now or even in the next few months, but eventually. Life, as T'Challa has learned, is very tricky and can be quite the complication. In the end, he makes it through. He makes it through with  _him._

 

 

Not just because the stars paired them together and they are blessed/cursed with eternal life, meant to reincarnate and cross paths, then die, repeated. Not just because he loves  _him_ with more than any words in any dictionary or any language can compute. Not because he made a promise many lives ago. 

 

 

Because he wants to. Because he does love N'Jadaka and Asher and Henry and Michael and John and every single version of  _him_  as they are _,_  andat the end of the day, at the end of each life, and at the beginning with each new one,  _him_ loves him too.. because he wants to. 

 

 

** Isn't that the beauty of it? **


End file.
